1
00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:34,090
Honey, I'm home.

2
00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:07,833
Today, I, your eldest elder, am, uh...

3
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,164
You're 72.

4
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,534
Seventy-two years old.

5
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:15,041
I've lived long
and witnessed many wonders.

6
00:01:15,108 --> 00:01:18,169
But now I am old.
I am slow.

7
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:21,237
And I get up 16 times
in the middle of the night.

8
00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:23,682
I can no longer
keep up with the herd.

9
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,947
I straggle behind,
attracting predators,

10
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:30,615
endangering my brethren
and making us late for everything.

11
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,750
Don't act like
you haven't noticed.

12
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:37,491
Therefore, I wish to be hurled
from the highest cliff

13
00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:38,998
into a tar pit.

14
00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:41,660
- [clapping]
- [all] Ooh!

15
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,597
- But before I go...
- Here it comes.

16
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:48,572
...now decree that
from this day forward,

17
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:50,201
all dinosaurs,

18
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:53,975
upon reaching their, uh...

19
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:56,379
Oh, 72nd birthday,

20
00:01:56,450 --> 00:02:00,080
shall be hurled into a tar pit,

21
00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:03,987
and this day
shall be known as...

22
00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:05,650
...Hurling Day.

23
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:09,685
And so that this tradition
remains holy and solemn,

24
00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:14,564
each dinosaur shall be
hurled by a loving relative.

25
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,194
Uh, excuse me.

26
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:17,999
Yes, in the back.

27
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:20,870
Uh, so this won't
be a total loss,

28
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:24,844
could you make it that guys get
to hurl their mother-in-laws?

29
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:27,280
Sure, why not?

30
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:29,782
Hurling Day!
Hurling Day!

31
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:33,013
[laughing] One more day
till Hurling Day!

32
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:35,783
One more day
till 1 throw your mother

33
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:39,793
over the cliff
and into the pit.

34
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:42,989
Earl, it's supposed to be
a solemn and holy day.

35
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:45,293
No. That's tomorrow.

36
00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:48,494
Today's a day of saying,
"Yipee, yipee!"

37
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:50,970
After 20 years
of your mother on my back,

38
00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:53,029
I get to haul her to
the top of the mountain

39
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:55,905
and fling her bony butt
to oblivion,

40
00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:58,172
solemnly and with dignity,
of course.

41
00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:00,077
[snickering]

42
00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,047
Earl, this is Mother's big day.

43
00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:05,676
Now, she's depending on you to throw
her in that nice section of the pit

44
00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:08,847
where there's shade,
next to her old friends, the Rosenfelds.

45
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,947
Oh, yeah,
I'll do what I can,

46
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:15,427
as long as she agrees
to sink quickly. [laughing]

47
00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:18,123
Hey, there's my little guy.

48
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,599
Want to give Daddy a kiss?

49
00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:23,193
Not the mama,
not the mama, not the mama,

50
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:25,534
not the mama,
not the mama!

51
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,475
That is starting
to bother me.

52
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,102
[laughing]

53
00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:33,146
Hey, guys,
Grandma's in the paper.

54
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,681
Let me see.

55
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:36,375
Give it here, Robbie.

56
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:38,441
Ah...

57
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:41,955
"Marriages, births, dismemberments,
large bites, hurlings."

58
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:46,050
Here it is! "Ethyl Phillips, wife of...
blah, blah, blah,

59
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:49,756
mother of... blah, blah, blah,
grandmother of... blah, blah, blah..."

60
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:50,956
Oh! Listen!

61
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,193
"...to be hurled into the ooze

62
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:56,464
by her loving
son-in-law, Earl Sinclair."

63
00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:58,335
God, I love being a dinosaur!

64
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:01,033
So, what do you think
it's like in the tar, anyway?

65
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:03,338
In the tar?
You mean, actually in the tar?

66
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,400
[Robbie] Yeah.

67
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,412
Well... duh...

68
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,314
I'd have to say that it's dark,
it's peaceful, it's quiet.

69
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:11,783
No one really knows, son.

70
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,116
But we'll all find out
when our time comes.

71
00:04:14,188 --> 00:04:17,852
- I gotta get to work. Thanks, honey.
- Bye, dear.

72
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:20,485
Tell him to stop asking
such depressing questions.

73
00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:24,361
Your grandmother's been looking forward
to this day for a long time.

74
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:27,423
She's going to be reunited
with Grandpa Louie.

75
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:30,869
I thought Grandpa
went on a cruise.

76
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,428
You bought that?

77
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,406
Robbie.

78
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:37,808
Charlene, until now,
you've been too young to understand.

79
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:41,473
But I think you're emotionally
mature enough now to know the truth.

80
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:42,538
Oh.

81
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:46,052
When dinosaurs turn 72,
they're thrown into a tar pit.

82
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,712
Oh.

83
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:50,348
Does this outfit
make me look fat?

84
00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:52,620
And I want you
to think of the tar pit

85
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:54,593
as a wonderful place

86
00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:57,926
where you'll want
to spend eternity.

87
00:04:57,998 --> 00:05:01,798
Oh, I get it.
Just like the Galleria.

88
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:04,771
Yeah.

89
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,067
Hah.

90
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,870
- [news theme on TV]
- Oh. [giggling]

91
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,137
Hi, baby.

92
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:12,770
Shh! Look!

93
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:15,008
Well, I always felt
{ was was an herbivore

94
00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:18,052
trapped in
a carnivore's body.

95
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:22,112
Cross-eaters, today at four on Raptile.

96
00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:25,682
- What's that all about?
- Eat.

97
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,817
[humming]

98
00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,193
Hey there, pally boy,

99
00:05:30,264 --> 00:05:33,063
ready to give the mother-in-law
the old heave-ho?

100
00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:34,567
Roy, please.

101
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:38,401
Fran's mother and I may have had
our differences for 20 years,

102
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:41,237
but I take no joy
in what I do tomorrow.

103
00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:42,639
Huh?

104
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:48,037
[both laughing]

105
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:51,085
Hey, look at this.
Roy, Roy, look.

106
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:54,382
- Take a look at these beauties.
- Oh, snatch me baldheaded.

107
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:58,516
Genuine mother-in-law
pterodactyl-skin hurling gloves!

108
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:01,220
Yeah, my father gave them
to me on my wedding day.

109
00:06:01,295 --> 00:06:04,424
- Look. Non-skid grip.
- Oh.

110
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:07,763
These old babies have
thrown a lot of old ladies.

111
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:10,236
- Yep.
- [male] Hey, Earl!

112
00:06:10,304 --> 00:06:14,207
Hey, tomorrow's
the big day, huh?

113
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:15,537
Yeah.
How do you feel?

114
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:18,169
I mean, any thoughts
in these final hours?

115
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:21,647
Well, I just hope that when my turn
comes to go into the tar,

116
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,412
those who knew me
will lift a glass and say,

117
00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:28,614
"Earl Sinclair,
no genius, no big shot,

118
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:31,522
but did you see the loft
he got on his mother-in-law?"

119
00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:34,493
[all laughing]

120
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,825
Hey, Earl, we just
want you to know

121
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,923
tomorrow you're going
out there for all of us.

122
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,764
Yeah, and remember,

123
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,327
lift with your knees.

124
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,872
Guys.

125
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,338
Times like this,

126
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,671
a guy feels
very close to his buddies.

127
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,303
- We feel close to you.
- Yeah, we do.

128
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:53,938
Sinclair, in here now!

129
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:56,244
[all screaming]

130
00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,543
Aah! Oh!

131
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,684
You sent for me,
my captain?

132
00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:09,020
Sinclair, I am a great
and powerful dinosaur,

133
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,827
and you... well,
you're a puny nothing.

134
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,196
Thank you, sir.

135
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:16,134
Because of my position
and social standing,

136
00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:17,762
I can say
whatever I want to you,

137
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:20,205
and you have
to flatter me in return!

138
00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:23,073
That's a keen and
brilliant observation, sir.

139
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:26,169
But tradition gives us
one great equalizer:

140
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,010
Hurling Day.

141
00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:30,778
One day, regardless
of our station in life,

142
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,717
when the lowest
of the low

143
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,515
can stand shoulder
to shoulder

144
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:36,852
with the highest
of the high.

145
00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:39,655
- So drink, Sinclair?
- Wow!

146
00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:43,026
I'm overwhelmed by your
sudden lack of cruelty.

147
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,326
Well, uh...

148
00:07:45,399 --> 00:07:47,231
...uh, here.

149
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,099
- Nice gloves.
- Mmm.

150
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:51,228
Thank you, sir.
They were given to me by...

151
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:54,104
- I'm speaking.
- Yes, sir.

152
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:55,664
It's been almost 30 years

153
00:07:55,742 --> 00:08:00,145
since I tossed
Mother Wilkerson into the goo.

154
00:08:00,214 --> 00:08:03,582
That look on her face as
she spiraled out of sight...

155
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,277
Ahh.

156
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,482
Ahh. Aah!

157
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:15,423
My, it's sad
how the memories fade.

158
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,225
Good thing I got it on VHS.

159
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:18,822
- [chuckles]
- Ooh.

160
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:21,391
[gasping]

161
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:24,301
[female screaming]

162
00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:27,671
- Nice trajectory, sir.
- Damn right.

163
00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:30,210
The moment goes by
so quickly, my captain.

164
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:33,042
Well, not on slo-mo.

165
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:35,172
- Ha!
- [Earl laughing]

166
00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:37,479
[rewinding]

167
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:39,883
[Richfield ] Whoop, there she goes.

168
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,012
[Earl] Bye-bye! Bye-bye!

169
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:44,183
[both laughing]

170
00:08:44,258 --> 00:08:48,092
Oh, this is...
this is so inspiring.

171
00:08:48,162 --> 00:08:51,257
It better be because
tomorrow's your day, Sinclair,

172
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:53,129
and no one can
take it away from you,

173
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,668
or I would've!

174
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,368
But remember,
after tomorrow...

175
00:08:58,438 --> 00:09:00,099
Lowest of the low?

176
00:09:00,174 --> 00:09:02,370
For the rest of your life.

177
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:06,310
So savor the moment,
Sinclair.

178
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:08,439
It's the only one
you're ever going to get.

179
00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:09,914
[rumbling]

180
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,417
Don't screw it up!

181
00:09:11,485 --> 00:09:13,180
Yes, sir... ho, sir.

182
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:15,517
Uh... door.

183
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:22,889
Aah!

184
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:25,057
Yep, she's in the tar!

185
00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:27,032
Nice hang time, pally boy.

186
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,499
I can do better.

187
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,799
I've got to work
on my follow-through.

188
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:34,398
Has anybody ever climbed
back out of the tar pit?

189
00:09:34,475 --> 00:09:36,273
No, son, once you're in,
you're in.

190
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,209
Give me another mother-in-law.

191
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,740
Yeah. Ready!

192
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:42,407
Set, throw!

193
00:09:42,483 --> 00:09:44,008
[groans]

194
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,574
[thud]

195
00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:47,882
Uh, Dad, when Grandma
goes into the tar pit,

196
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:49,252
is there life after that?

197
00:09:49,323 --> 00:09:50,882
For me, there is.

198
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,426
You're losing elevation.

199
00:09:52,493 --> 00:09:55,690
Robbie, you're breaking
my concentration.

200
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:58,663
What do I say when she comes over
for this birthday dinner?

201
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:01,793
Goodbye, good luck,
sorry you're being tossed off a cliff?

202
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:04,531
[sighs] Let me explain this to you.

203
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:07,438
She's lived her life.
She has laid her eggs.

204
00:10:07,508 --> 00:10:09,636
It is time for her to move on.

205
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,974
Now, you want dinner conversation,

206
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,514
ask her to tell you
about how useless she is.

207
00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:17,915
- [doorbell]
- [Fran] Earl, Mother's here.

208
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:20,886
Not for long.

209
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,753
- [laughing] Yeah
- Oh! .

210
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:29,054
Mother, you look terrific.

211
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:32,827
Thank you, sweetheart.
I had my scales done for the occasion.

212
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:33,890
Yeah, yeah.

213
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,595
Mom, tomorrow's the big day.

214
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:38,195
Yeah, the biggest.

215
00:10:38,272 --> 00:10:40,639
I'm so excited,
I feel like a schoolgirl.

216
00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:43,301
Charlene, sweetheart,
pour me a Scotch, will you?

217
00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:45,539
OK. ♪ La la la la la

218
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:47,740
- There's a good girl.
- [Robbie] Hi, Gram.

219
00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:50,307
There he is,
Robbie, my baby.

220
00:10:50,384 --> 00:10:53,081
Come here, let your grandma
give you five kisses.

221
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,121
[smooching]

222
00:10:56,457 --> 00:10:58,516
You must be beating
girls off with a stick.

223
00:10:58,592 --> 00:10:59,753
Oh, well...

224
00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:01,693
Here's $5.

225
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:04,231
Aw, thanks, Grandma.

226
00:11:04,298 --> 00:11:06,392
Come on, Mom,
you're gonna spoil him.

227
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:07,865
Indulge me, Fran.

228
00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,562
What am I saving it for?

229
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:12,230
Grandma, what's this
worth to you?

230
00:11:12,306 --> 00:11:15,936
Oh, wow, $100.

231
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,943
- And five kisses.
- Oh!

232
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,604
That's for college.

233
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,148
I'm not going to college

234
00:11:21,215 --> 00:11:23,115
unless I have
something to wear!

235
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,277
[gasps]

236
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,979
It's the baby.

237
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:30,217
It's the grandma!
Uh-oh.

238
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,520
Hello, Mother Phillips.

239
00:11:32,593 --> 00:11:34,425
Hello, fat boy.

240
00:11:34,495 --> 00:11:36,224
Hello, you vicious old...

241
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:37,821
Earl Snead Sinclair!

242
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,559
Oh, God.
My whole name.

243
00:11:39,633 --> 00:11:41,761
I'm asking for peace
for one night.

244
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,269
- But she...
- One night.

245
00:11:43,337 --> 00:11:45,863
Twelve hours, and she's
out of your life forever.

246
00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:48,909
- But, Frannie...
- Don't respond to her.

247
00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:51,570
I do not want you
to open your mouth.

248
00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:53,135
She provokes me!

249
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,545
Close your mouth
and don't let her provoke you.

250
00:11:55,616 --> 00:11:57,414
- I am the mighty mega...
- Close it!

251
00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:58,679
[grumbling]

252
00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:00,584
Hello, fat boy.

253
00:12:00,654 --> 00:12:01,951
[laughing]

254
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,353
You see that?

255
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:06,393
Oh, Mother.
Come here, sweetheart.

256
00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:08,895
Up we go, there.

257
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:13,496
You and I have had
a lot of tough times, Earl.

258
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:16,434
I just want to say I'm sorry.

259
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,100
Jeez, Ethyl, you mean it,
you're sorry?

260
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:23,200
Yeah, I'm sorry
you married my daughter,

261
00:12:23,277 --> 00:12:25,837
and I'm sorry she has to live
in a cold, drafty hole

262
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:27,438
on the wrong side of the swamp

263
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,846
with a guy who was a tree
pusher 20 years ago,

264
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:32,784
and today is, surprise,
still a tree pusher.

265
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:35,914
- Frannie!
- Mother.

266
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:39,482
- I said I'm sorry.
- Let's go, old lady.

267
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,995
We're going over
the cliff right now!

268
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:44,531
Dinner? Would anyone
like dinner?

269
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:47,295
Only if it's fattening.

270
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:50,132
Eat all you want.
You'll be worth the hernia.

271
00:12:55,409 --> 00:12:57,036
And I want you
to have this.

272
00:12:57,111 --> 00:12:59,603
It's a seashell necklace
your grandfather gave me

273
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:01,808
on our tenth anniversary.

274
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:05,546
Wow! Hey, there's a bite
taken out of it here.

275
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:08,179
It was a wild night.
Don't ask.

276
00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:10,781
Thanks for the great stuff, Grandma.

277
00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:14,385
You know, you've lived
such a fascinating life.

278
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,452
Well, I'm bored
out of my mind.

279
00:13:16,530 --> 00:13:18,589
I'll see you tomorrow, Ethyl.

280
00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:20,133
[laughing]

281
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,634
It is getting late.

282
00:13:21,702 --> 00:13:23,363
We should go to sleep.

283
00:13:23,437 --> 00:13:25,769
- [Fran] Good night.
- [Charlene] Good night.

284
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,068
[smooching]

285
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,131
[Fran] Is there anything
I can get you?

286
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:32,042
Yeah, get a divorce
and marry someone else.

287
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:33,807
There's still 12 hours left.

288
00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:36,043
Good night, Mother.

289
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:38,949
Mary Ellen Sworkinson's
daughter married a podiatrist

290
00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:40,851
four hours before she got hurled.

291
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:44,357
She went into the tar
a happy dinosaur,

292
00:13:44,425 --> 00:13:46,257
hurled by a professional.

293
00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:49,355
Oh.

294
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:50,919
Hmm.

295
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,527
What's the matter, sweetheart?
Not tired?

296
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,903
Aren't you worried about what's
gonna happen to you tomorrow?

297
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:01,668
I'm looking forward to it.

298
00:14:01,742 --> 00:14:03,301
I miss my Louie.

299
00:14:03,377 --> 00:14:05,505
You don't remember
your grandpa, do you?

300
00:14:05,579 --> 00:14:07,980
You were very young
when he was hurled.

301
00:14:09,183 --> 00:14:10,446
Aw. See that?

302
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,713
That's you on your
Grandpa Louie's back,

303
00:14:12,786 --> 00:14:14,686
hitting him on the head with a pot.

304
00:14:14,755 --> 00:14:16,814
Wow.
Is this me and you?

305
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,450
Yeah. Look, I had all my spikes.

306
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,654
This is when you
visited me at camp.

307
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:24,026
Your Grandpa Louie
was such a fisherman.

308
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,929
He could stick his head
in the water,

309
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:28,798
come up with tuna fish,
grouper, you name it.

310
00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,894
Oh. A letter I wrote you.

311
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:35,431
[clears throat] It says, "Dear Grandma,
how are you? I am good.

312
00:14:35,509 --> 00:14:38,103
It is good here at camp.
The food is good.

313
00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:40,772
I hope you're good too.

314
00:14:40,848 --> 00:14:42,646
Love, Robbie Sinclair."

315
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:46,118
Yeah, yeah,
you always wrote me.

316
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:49,520
Grandma, I don't want
you to go in the tar tomorrow.

317
00:14:49,590 --> 00:14:52,082
Hey, I've lived a long life.
I've earned this.

318
00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:54,992
But I don't want you to go.

319
00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:57,588
You're a young,
sweet kid, Robbie,

320
00:14:57,664 --> 00:15:00,759
and you don't really
know anything yet.

321
00:15:01,235 --> 00:15:03,226
I know. I know, you're right.

322
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:07,297
Hurling's been around a million years,
and I've been around 14 years.

323
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:09,809
So I can hardly believe
I'm gonna do this.

324
00:15:09,877 --> 00:15:11,936
- Let's go.
- What are you gonna do?

325
00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:14,208
Come on,
we're getting out of here.

326
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:16,375
[groaning]

327
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:28,285
[Earl] Rise and shine, Ethyl.
Rise and shine!

328
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:31,388
Today's the last day
of the rest of your life.

329
00:15:31,465 --> 00:15:36,869
I'm wearing my brand-new
silk Hurling Day tie.

330
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:38,371
Ethyl?

331
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,928
Ethyl?

332
00:15:40,007 --> 00:15:41,497
Ethyl?

333
00:15:41,575 --> 00:15:43,475
Ethyl!

334
00:15:43,544 --> 00:15:44,978
Fran!

335
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:47,742
Robert, stop this.
It's dangerous out this early.

336
00:15:47,815 --> 00:15:49,408
Everything's hungry.

337
00:15:49,483 --> 00:15:52,248
No, I'm not letting them
throw you in the tar pit.

338
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,788
- There's just no reason for it.
- There is, dear.

339
00:15:54,855 --> 00:15:59,759
It's a time-honored tradition started by
a wise old dinosaur named Bob La Brea.

340
00:15:59,827 --> 00:16:02,353
- [snapping]
- What's that?

341
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:05,023
- Hide yourself.
- Uh...uh...

342
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:08,090
- Robbie, don't be a stupid kid!
- Come on, Grandma.

343
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,000
Forget about me.
Hide yourself.

344
00:16:12,673 --> 00:16:16,132
Forget about me.
Hide yourself.

345
00:16:16,210 --> 00:16:18,736
[growling]

346
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:28,111
...I just couldn't
leave you, Grandma.

347
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:30,020
I couldn't do it.

348
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:34,049
Now do you see
why old dinosaurs go into the tar?

349
00:16:37,865 --> 00:16:40,027
Take me home, dear.

350
00:16:42,970 --> 00:16:45,268
Please let the old lady
be all right.

351
00:16:45,339 --> 00:16:50,038
Please, please,
don't take this away from me!

352
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,442
[Earl] Where have you been?

353
00:16:52,513 --> 00:16:56,211
Don't get in an uproar, chuckles.
We were just out for a little walk.

354
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:58,377
I know where you went.

355
00:16:58,452 --> 00:16:59,942
You do?

356
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:02,614
You went to throw yourself
over the cliff without me,

357
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,817
but Robbie found you
and brought you back.

358
00:17:04,892 --> 00:17:07,293
Good boy.
She may try again.

359
00:17:07,361 --> 00:17:08,851
Keep an eye on her.

360
00:17:08,929 --> 00:17:11,261
- No problem.
- Ethyl.

361
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:12,389
[chuckling]

362
00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:14,264
Now, listen, Ugh,

363
00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:17,065
I'm expecting an important
package this afternoon.

364
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:20,072
So whatever you do,
don't open it.

365
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,871
I won't, Woodrow.

366
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:29,541
[narrator] Hilarious high jinks
with that talking caveman on Mr. Ugh.

367
00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:31,948
<i>3 lam Mr. Ugh</i>

368
00:17:32,019 --> 00:17:33,953
[narrator] Today at four.

369
00:17:35,089 --> 00:17:37,524
Uh... Mom, could I talk
to you for a second?

370
00:17:37,591 --> 00:17:38,615
Yes, dear.

371
00:17:38,692 --> 00:17:40,319
Uh... what would
be the big deal

372
00:17:40,394 --> 00:17:42,385
if nobody threw Grandma
into the tar pit?

373
00:17:42,463 --> 00:17:44,488
It would kill
your father, dear.

374
00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:47,535
Mom, it used to be that
old dinosaurs slowed down the pack.

375
00:17:47,601 --> 00:17:49,035
Now we live in houses.

376
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:51,230
It used to be old
dinosaurs couldn't hunt.

377
00:17:51,305 --> 00:17:52,670
Now we have supermarkets.

378
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:55,003
Isn't throwing Grandma
off a cliff just a waste

379
00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:56,600
of a perfectly good old lady?

380
00:17:58,946 --> 00:18:00,345
I'm just asking.

381
00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:01,404
What?

382
00:18:01,482 --> 00:18:03,041
Since we're domesticated now,

383
00:18:03,117 --> 00:18:06,052
there's nothing forcing us
to hurl Mother, is there?

384
00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:10,023
[laughing] That's an interesting
notion there, Fran.

385
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,114
Isn't it?

386
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:12,955
I just can't help wondering

387
00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:15,791
where you came up with
this interesting notion.

388
00:18:15,863 --> 00:18:18,730
Well, I have to admit
it's not actually my idea,

389
00:18:18,799 --> 00:18:21,427
although the moment I heard it,
it made so much sense.

390
00:18:21,502 --> 00:18:23,470
Doesn't it make sense to you?

391
00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:25,665
Oh, yeah,
it certainly does.

392
00:18:25,739 --> 00:18:28,606
But you know what
I'm curious about?

393
00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:32,669
Where did this idea
come from originally?

394
00:18:32,746 --> 00:18:36,239
If you think about it,
it's a barbaric ritual.

395
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:37,750
It's not barbaric!

396
00:18:37,818 --> 00:18:39,786
It's holy and solemn.

397
00:18:39,853 --> 00:18:41,947
Earl, you're overreacting.

398
00:18:42,022 --> 00:18:44,423
Fran, dear, I'm merely
stating my position.

399
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:45,959
There is no position.

400
00:18:46,026 --> 00:18:47,721
Earl, I've made my decision.

401
00:18:47,795 --> 00:18:49,490
You're not throwing Mother.

402
00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:51,395
- I'm throwing her!
- Ow.

403
00:18:51,465 --> 00:18:54,491
You want to sleep on the couch
for the rest of your life?

404
00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:57,094
I'm throwing her, Fran.
Ethyl!

405
00:18:57,171 --> 00:18:59,333
I'm throwing her.
I'm throwing her.

406
00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:01,272
I married you
so I could throw her.

407
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,139
So is the hat too much?

408
00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:05,679
Change of schedule.
We're taking off early.

409
00:19:05,746 --> 00:19:07,111
Earl!

410
00:19:07,181 --> 00:19:09,013
Uh... look, it's Godzilla!

411
00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:10,743
Huh, what?

412
00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:18,648
[groaning] You had
to eat a big breakfast.

413
00:19:18,726 --> 00:19:21,252
Just push the chair, fat boy.

414
00:19:22,196 --> 00:19:23,664
Come on. Come on.

415
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:26,756
Slow down. I want to fix
my face for my Louie.

416
00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:29,735
- You look gorgeous, Ethyl.
- Oh, do you think so?

417
00:19:29,803 --> 00:19:33,103
- Yeah. Get your foot off the brake.
- Oh, shut up.

418
00:19:34,675 --> 00:19:36,575
[groans]

419
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,702
[Ethyl] Push, push!

420
00:19:38,779 --> 00:19:41,942
OK, Ethyl,
I wrote this speech...

421
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:43,949
Uh... you can read it
on the way down.

422
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:47,009
- Earl, stop!
- OK, I'm ready.

423
00:19:47,087 --> 00:19:49,419
No, you're not, Grandma.
You don't have to go.

424
00:19:49,490 --> 00:19:51,254
- What?
- Dad, a million years ago,

425
00:19:51,325 --> 00:19:55,353
some old dinosaur did what was right in
his time and created this hurling thing.

426
00:19:55,429 --> 00:19:58,490
You can do what's right in your time
and go down in history.

427
00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:02,058
You could be a legend
among dinosaurs!

428
00:20:02,136 --> 00:20:05,731
Or have momentary satisfaction
of throwing grandma off the cliff.

429
00:20:07,608 --> 00:20:10,600
You should think about
this long and hard.

430
00:20:14,948 --> 00:20:16,541
Watch your toes, son.

431
00:20:16,617 --> 00:20:19,086
- Listen, Dad!
- No, you listen!

432
00:20:19,153 --> 00:20:20,518
This is my moment.

433
00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:22,783
This is the time when
the lowest of the low

434
00:20:22,856 --> 00:20:25,348
can stand with
the highest of the high.

435
00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:28,417
If I lose this,
my life means nothing.

436
00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:31,726
Well, then I guess
my life means nothing, Dad.

437
00:20:31,799 --> 00:20:34,928
- What are you saying?
- When the time comes,

438
00:20:35,002 --> 00:20:37,471
- I'm not throwing you.
- Why the hell not?

439
00:20:37,538 --> 00:20:40,098
Because you're my father
and just because you get old

440
00:20:40,174 --> 00:20:43,542
doesn't mean you're not
my father anymore.

441
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:44,873
Oh, jeez!

442
00:20:44,945 --> 00:20:46,777
Hello?
Hello?

443
00:20:46,847 --> 00:20:48,508
Am I suddenly invisible?

444
00:20:48,582 --> 00:20:51,517
Why doesn't somebody
ask me how I feel?

445
00:20:51,585 --> 00:20:54,020
How do you feel, Mother?

446
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:55,816
I'm an old dinosaur.

447
00:20:55,889 --> 00:20:58,381
There's no safe place
for me anymore in this world.

448
00:20:59,793 --> 00:21:01,727
You could live with us
in Dad's den!

449
00:21:01,795 --> 00:21:04,457
That's it!
They're both going over.

450
00:21:04,531 --> 00:21:06,329
Times are changing, Earl.

451
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,494
Today? Do they have
to change today?

452
00:21:08,569 --> 00:21:10,196
She's just an old dinosaur.

453
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:11,863
She's just gonna be in the way.

454
00:21:11,939 --> 00:21:14,203
She's only old because
she's lived a long time.

455
00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:15,503
[Earl gasps]

456
00:21:15,576 --> 00:21:17,840
Maybe there are things
we can learn from her.

457
00:21:17,911 --> 00:21:20,243
Maybe how we treat our old
dinosaurs is wrong.

458
00:21:20,314 --> 00:21:23,443
Maybe it's better to keep
them than throw them away.

459
00:21:23,517 --> 00:21:26,976
Grandma, just tell him
you don't want to go.

460
00:21:27,054 --> 00:21:28,886
Robbie, darling,

461
00:21:28,956 --> 00:21:32,153
I've done everything there
is to do in this life.

462
00:21:32,226 --> 00:21:34,820
At my age, what do
I have to live for?

463
00:21:34,895 --> 00:21:38,195
Fran, I am not letting
your mother move into my house

464
00:21:38,265 --> 00:21:41,064
to spend her days
making my life miserable.

465
00:21:44,438 --> 00:21:45,735
Take me home, dear.

466
00:21:45,806 --> 00:21:49,640
Yes! Cool!
Excellent!

467
00:21:49,710 --> 00:21:50,905
I'm coming, Louie.

468
00:21:50,978 --> 00:21:52,173
Earl, stop.

469
00:21:52,246 --> 00:21:54,010
Fran, if you love me,
throw me in.

470
00:21:54,081 --> 00:21:56,209
Earl, it's just
for the rest of her life.

471
00:21:56,283 --> 00:21:58,081
How long can that possibly be?

472
00:21:58,152 --> 00:21:59,551
How should I know, Fran?

473
00:21:59,620 --> 00:22:03,113
Nobody ever died
of getting old before.

474
00:22:06,393 --> 00:22:08,452
You know...

475
00:22:08,529 --> 00:22:12,727
I feel like I could
live to be a million!

476
00:22:13,700 --> 00:22:15,361
Jeez!

477
00:22:15,436 --> 00:22:17,234
[groans]

478
00:22:29,016 --> 00:22:30,745
[Earl] Hey, it was a mighty toss.

479
00:22:30,818 --> 00:22:33,583
I mean, I almost threw her
past the tar pit entirely.

480
00:22:33,654 --> 00:22:37,147
And then-then-then
she came down and down,

481
00:22:37,224 --> 00:22:40,194
and then, uh...

482
00:22:40,260 --> 00:22:41,785
She bounced!

483
00:22:41,862 --> 00:22:44,991
Yeah, she bounced right back up
and landed back in her chair.

484
00:22:45,065 --> 00:22:46,624
It's a miracle, they tell me.

485
00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:50,364
So I gotta let her move in.
That's the truth.

486
00:22:51,672 --> 00:22:54,039
Earl, you killed us.

487
00:22:54,108 --> 00:22:56,975
[groans]